Skip to main content

Games We Play



One of the things that Brian and I like to do for fun is to change user names and/or passwords on any major accounts without telling the other person.  If you'd like to play along at home, it goes like this.

  1. Log on and realize your saved password doesn't work.
  2. Send a nice text, like "hey sweetie did you change the password?" Add a heart emoji. 
  3. Try every password you have ever shared with sweetie for the last 20 years.  Be sure to strike a fine balance between trying all the passwords and getting locked out.  This game is not for amateurs.
  4. Provide your social, your address, and your blood type and click the link.  Oh and the link "may have gone to spam."  Spam?  Spam?!  Stop sending legit shit to my spam folder.  Is there no fix for this issue which has plagued us since the days of AOL?
  5. Change the password.
The next step is key, so pay attention.

    6.  Forget to tell the other person that you changed it.

Then simply wait for the fun to ensue because then he does it to you, and then you do it to him and this game can just last forever!  After the fourth round, try escalating the text messages from sweet and kind to rage texts with a healthy combination of question marks and exclamation points.  For instance, you may try something like, "SRSLY??!!!?  STOP CHANGING THE AMEX PASSWORD!!!"

This game works well with most major household accounts.  It is particularly effective with any site which involves money or utilities.  Here's how to raise the stakes: have the customer service representative on the phone with you while you try to get into an account where your partner won the last round of "change the password."  Most customer service representatives are extremely patient while you try to log on, as you know.  As an aside, dear customer service rep, can't YOU find the account number that I'm calling you about?  Can't you look it up by my name or this phone number?  I can order some Starbucks to my front porch, Instacart $200 worth of groceries, and have a New York Times bestseller on my doorstep in 30 minutes without having to find an account number.  I'm just saying.

Back to the game.  One of my favorite versions of this game is changing the password of any streaming app.  Because, damn, if I'm finally sitting down at the end of the night and I have my jammies on and I'm going to watch just one episode of whatever is currently educating me/rotting my brain and you have changed the Netflix or Hulu password?!?!???!!!  Do not try this at home.  (Please note the effective use of excessive question marks and exclamation points.  People think its adorable when you text like this, by the way.)  

Please don't tell me about some fancy linked-calendar-password-file-share-automated-text-app THING which can fix this problem.  This writer does not want to know.  You know why?  Because Brian and I will keep changing the passwords to it and then my whole life will be locked up in there.  My entire existence will be in the cloud.  You can't get into the cloud cause you don't know the password to the cloud.  No one does.  So we can't fix it.  We just play the game.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Getting Shot at Target

  What has the world come to that I'm getting a life saving vaccine in a Target dressing room? Look-I rarely, if ever, post about politics, controversial topics, religion and basically anything about which people feel quite strongly.  It is not that I don't feel strongly about these things.  I'm strong.  I feel strongLY, people.  But most of the time it doesn't get you very far except down into the mud with some troll you knew 20 years ago.  You may not have known that he was a troll back then because that term did not exist, but here they are livin' under your bridge while you're just trying to trip-trap over said bridge like the GOAT you are.   That's GOAT as in Greatest of All Time.  And yes, I hit you with fairy tale knowledge wrapped into some 2020 slang.  Boom. I scheduled the vaccine on my computer.  It was easy.  Just click to different sites 25 times, go to 14 pharmacy websites, create 14 new accounts, select an appointment...
Post a Comment
Keep Reading...

She Blinded Me with Science

  "Mom, do you know Lewton's Third Law?"  That was Juliet's question as she was brushing her teeth. I tried to tell her it is actually Newton and not Lewton.  Although this is a valid correction, it was also a stall tactic to try and recall what the law is.  I thought he had, like, one major one and I thought since it was the major law, it would be number one.  So number one is the whole "equal and opposite reaction" one.  Right?  Wrong.  Perhaps the aspect of it being the third one was what threw me off? I looked it up.  Turns out, the whole "body moving in a straight line" thing is the first law.  Honestly.  All due respect to the scientists.  No.  one.  cares.   Not to fear, Juliet explained it to me with an example about swimming and elaborate arm motions and I'm relatively sure the words "equal and opposite" were in there.  She likes "Emily's Wonder Lab" on Netflix.  If not for her huge vocabulary ...
Post a Comment
Keep Reading...