A little story about Juliet's ultrasound, originally posted in August 2015. Perhaps this accounts for some of her crazy personality?
I had a 10:00 a.m. ultrasound on Tuesday morning. I love going to see my little Baby New! Since I had all sorts of complications with Aidan and Norah, I get to have an ultrasound every four weeks throughout my whole pregnancy, even though this is just one baby and not twins. Yes, I'm sure. It's the first question I asked when they said, "You're pregnant!" I said, "With one baby?" It's been confirmed.
Tuesday was also the first day of school for the kids. They are in the 5th grade! I just cannot believe it. The time goes too quickly. That is why we're having this baby. So I can delay all the sad feelings that come with your kids getting older, put off having to deal with it and pretend it's not happening while I project all my suffocating emotions on this new little one. Healthy, right?
The only thing I am craving with this baby is water, water and more water. I am a camel. While I'm drinking, I take the straw out of my mouth long enough to say, "I'm thirsty." So when I was dashing out the door to get to the ultrasound on time, I went to the fridge in the garage to grab a water to take with me.
Full disclosure; we don't call it "the fridge in the garage". We call it the beer fridge. Doesn't everybody call it the beer fridge? Now...it doesn't just have beer. It has beer, bottled water, freeze pops and juice boxes, etc. But stay with me, because herein lies the mix-up.
I like sparking water. Pellegrino or Perrier or what-have-you. So there are cans of Perrier in there. They are green and come in tall skinny cans. Bud Light Lime also comes in green...tall...skinny cans.
Sidebar: I call these type of cans Virginia Slim cans. As in, "Bri, make sure you get the water that's in the Virginia Slim cans!" So now you know I reference alcohol AND cigarettes while six months pregnant. Fantastic.
A view of the fridge….which I feel justifies my mistake, cause it IS hard to see which one is the water.
You know where this is going. I grab the Bud Light Lime and I have my straw and I jump in the car to go to my ultrasound. Except I didn't realize that it was beer until a mile or two down the road….where I waited at the light and decided to open it. Still quite unaware. The light is red and in full view of every car and every potential cop in sight, I open my beer, stick in my straw and take a big ol' swig at 9:45 a.m. As most expectant mothers do.
It still does not occur to me that I may have had a beer. I'm like "What in the hell?" and stare at the can. I put what remaining brain cells I have together to conclude that I mixed up the cans. The rest of the way to my appointment I am panicking that THIS will be the time I get pulled over for going 41 in a 40 mph zone. The cop will say, "You've been drinking this morning, m'am?" And I'll be all, "Sir. I am not drinking. I know it looks that way since I have beer on my breath and a cold one sitting right here in my cup holder, but I thought it was water. You know, the sparkly kind of water that comes in the Virginia Slim can? Like the cigarettes, but not like I'm smoking, cause I'm pregnant. Oh, you didn't notice? Yes, officer, I'm pregnant and speeding and technically I am drinking, but I'm not drunk yet! And doesn't that count for something?!" And then I get arrested. The end.
Alas, that did not happen. I made it to the hospital, where I disposed of my frosty, cold one in the parking lot of the maternity ward. Classy. The thought did cross my mind that they have cameras recording my every move. Before I disposed of the evidence, I took this picture.
I had a 10:00 a.m. ultrasound on Tuesday morning. I love going to see my little Baby New! Since I had all sorts of complications with Aidan and Norah, I get to have an ultrasound every four weeks throughout my whole pregnancy, even though this is just one baby and not twins. Yes, I'm sure. It's the first question I asked when they said, "You're pregnant!" I said, "With one baby?" It's been confirmed.
Tuesday was also the first day of school for the kids. They are in the 5th grade! I just cannot believe it. The time goes too quickly. That is why we're having this baby. So I can delay all the sad feelings that come with your kids getting older, put off having to deal with it and pretend it's not happening while I project all my suffocating emotions on this new little one. Healthy, right?
The only thing I am craving with this baby is water, water and more water. I am a camel. While I'm drinking, I take the straw out of my mouth long enough to say, "I'm thirsty." So when I was dashing out the door to get to the ultrasound on time, I went to the fridge in the garage to grab a water to take with me.
Full disclosure; we don't call it "the fridge in the garage". We call it the beer fridge. Doesn't everybody call it the beer fridge? Now...it doesn't just have beer. It has beer, bottled water, freeze pops and juice boxes, etc. But stay with me, because herein lies the mix-up.
I like sparking water. Pellegrino or Perrier or what-have-you. So there are cans of Perrier in there. They are green and come in tall skinny cans. Bud Light Lime also comes in green...tall...skinny cans.
Sidebar: I call these type of cans Virginia Slim cans. As in, "Bri, make sure you get the water that's in the Virginia Slim cans!" So now you know I reference alcohol AND cigarettes while six months pregnant. Fantastic.
A view of the fridge….which I feel justifies my mistake, cause it IS hard to see which one is the water.
You know where this is going. I grab the Bud Light Lime and I have my straw and I jump in the car to go to my ultrasound. Except I didn't realize that it was beer until a mile or two down the road….where I waited at the light and decided to open it. Still quite unaware. The light is red and in full view of every car and every potential cop in sight, I open my beer, stick in my straw and take a big ol' swig at 9:45 a.m. As most expectant mothers do.
It still does not occur to me that I may have had a beer. I'm like "What in the hell?" and stare at the can. I put what remaining brain cells I have together to conclude that I mixed up the cans. The rest of the way to my appointment I am panicking that THIS will be the time I get pulled over for going 41 in a 40 mph zone. The cop will say, "You've been drinking this morning, m'am?" And I'll be all, "Sir. I am not drinking. I know it looks that way since I have beer on my breath and a cold one sitting right here in my cup holder, but I thought it was water. You know, the sparkly kind of water that comes in the Virginia Slim can? Like the cigarettes, but not like I'm smoking, cause I'm pregnant. Oh, you didn't notice? Yes, officer, I'm pregnant and speeding and technically I am drinking, but I'm not drunk yet! And doesn't that count for something?!" And then I get arrested. The end.
Alas, that did not happen. I made it to the hospital, where I disposed of my frosty, cold one in the parking lot of the maternity ward. Classy. The thought did cross my mind that they have cameras recording my every move. Before I disposed of the evidence, I took this picture.
I grabbed a mint at the desk to cover my boozy breath. I think our little baby is going to be OK. She was still being her sweet, snuggly self while she posed for this picture. If I didn't get a chance to tell you, IT'S A GIRL!! We're in love. Happy Friday! Happy Fresh Unders! Happy Baby Love!
Comments
Post a Comment