She Blinded Me with Science

 

"Mom, do you know Lewton's Third Law?"  That was Juliet's question as she was brushing her teeth.

I tried to tell her it is actually Newton and not Lewton.  Although this is a valid correction, it was also a stall tactic to try and recall what the law is.  I thought he had, like, one major one and I thought since it was the major law, it would be number one.  So number one is the whole "equal and opposite reaction" one.  Right?  Wrong.  Perhaps the aspect of it being the third one was what threw me off?

I looked it up.  Turns out, the whole "body moving in a straight line" thing is the first law.  Honestly.  All due respect to the scientists.  No.  one.  cares.  

Not to fear, Juliet explained it to me with an example about swimming and elaborate arm motions and I'm relatively sure the words "equal and opposite" were in there.  She likes "Emily's Wonder Lab" on Netflix.  If not for her huge vocabulary and quick comebacks, I would question if she was my child with this interest in science.

I'm awful at science and math and I say that without reservation.  Always have been and at this point in my life, I'm going with 'always will be.'  I'm pretty certain that if my teachers cared at all in the 90's they would've known that I needed extra help in these areas through no fault of my own.  Okay, that's harsh on the teachers.  Perhaps they cared but they were so busy with their overhead projectors and their inability to work a VCR.  I cried when I got my geometry tests back.  A sophomore.  Dripping real tears on her test paper because I really tried.  

So my apologies if you sat near me in our junior year and senior year in math and science classes because I was done trying and I liked to chat instead of work.  This is how I know Norah is certainly my child.  We love a good chat.

I am a woman of many other talents so I am not ashamed by my challenges in these areas.  I could list all my talents here, however you only have but so much time in your day to read Fresh Unders and the list is long.  One of my highlights?  Ridiculous recall for every song lyric ever sung, even songs I hate.  I'm looking at you "Paradise by the Dashboard Light".  Anything by Meatloaf, really.  Yuck to actual Meatloaf and singer Meatloaf.  Oh God, I can't forget "Achy Breaky Heart".  Intense dislike.  Anything by Nickleback. Ok, I need to move on.  

As I was braiding her hair, Juliet informed me that there are "only a few ways to learn things in this whole entire world."  She ticked them off on her fingers.  "You can watch Emily's Wonder Lab, go to school, read books, play ABC Mouse and do workbooks."

But tell me about what I teach you Juliet!  You can learn things from your Mom!  Besides science and math, I'm a great teacher!  I asked her, "what do you learn from Mommy?"  Long pause.  A very long pause.  And then she said, "You teach me how to open string cheese."  Alright then.

A little more prodding.  "You teach me when you take something out, put it back." True, true.

I asked her if I teach her any more really important stuff?  Then she said, "when someone hugs you hold them super tight."  

I wish I could tell you that she gave me a hug right then cause that would be an epic ending to the story.  But she walked off.  Presumably to binge more of "Emily's Wonder Lab." But it didn't matter, cause I love Juliet's third law.