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Hey Mr. DJ


I was recently car shopping and was surprised that the car had a CD player.  I asked DJ, the salesman, why they would put a CD player in a new car.  I mean, I love a 6 disc changer in the back and everything cause I love reppin the 90s, but is this what the people want?

It turns out the answer is yes.  This is  what the people want.  Well...certain people.  According to DJ, the car company does extensive research and the 50+ age group is the demographic that still wants a CD player in their car.  At this point in our conversation, DJ didn't know how old I was.  Luckily, he is a very skilled car salesman who did not say that my age group wants a CD player.  He wanted the sale.

But in the name of research, I decided to interview a 50 year old friend to find out about the CD player and other apparent demographic demarcations.  I was like, "Hey! You're 50! Do older people--"  She hung up on me.  

Let's just leave the 50-somethings out of it for now.  They're 50, guys, they're already out of it.  I'd insert a laugh-cry emoji here, but only 50 year olds use that emoji.  

I'll speak for myself.  I don't want a CD player in my car but I'm afraid to throw my old CDs away because what IF twenty years from now I can't download "C'Mon Ride the Train" by the Quad City DJs.  (Coincidentally, this post contains several DJs.  Interesting.)  Anyway, what if your overplayed party track from the 90s just disappears?  No downloads, no streaming, gone.  You better have that CD because then you'll never have that moment again when "C'Mon Ride the Train" is blasting out of the speakers and you are ON that train, but then it goes into the crowd of people who are lame and not dancing and then your fellow train people awkwardly drop out and you're the only one left on the party train and then you're like heeeyyyyyy and then you just walk to the bar alone?  OK, fine.  Pretend that never happened to you.  

The point is, acknowledging your age means acknowledging that maybe you did like things the old way.  And just because it's new doesn't make it better.  There's no shame in wanting the CD player.  Embrace it.  There's certainly no shame in busting some sweet dance moves that looked super fly in the 90s and early 2000s but now look comical.  Like, people think you're joking, but you know these moves KILLED at Shampoo in '99 and that's a fact.  Sure, I can read everything on my computer, but I want a newspaper.  A real newspaper.  Delivered to my house.  Apparently reading an actual newspaper puts me squarely into the 65 and over demographic.  So be it.  I love my Kindle but I live for a real book and if it came from a real library, so much the better.  You want to know the age demographic for people who use libraries, besides kids who are there for story time?  Go in, shout "Dewey Decimal!" and see who looks up.  These are your people.  And they want the CD player.  


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