Gold Star Parenting

 

I acknowledge that 99% of you know about my kids already, because I don't think anyone who doesn't know me is reading Fresh Unders.  But just in case there is one new reader on here, to you I say welcome and thank you for your patronage.

My children are a decade apart in age.  Aidan and Norah are 15 and Juliet is 5.  When a woman at the playground asked me their ages, she followed up my response with a question as to whether the children were "from the same dad."  Why yes they are, m'am.  Some people are still having sex with the same person a decade later.  It happens.  

Here's what else happens in a decade: you get older and you are hanging on by a thread to the lives of one five year old and two kids about to get their learners permits.  Help me, Jesus.  People ask me how it is to parent kids at completely different ages and stages at the same time.  The answer is: we don't really parent them that differently.  The stakes are higher with the older two and I guess the consequences differ slightly, but other than that it's the same.  I mean, "did you really just color all over the couch with blue crayon!?" and "did you really not register for SAT prep after Dad told you to?!"  Like I said, different stakes.  Actually, I'd venture to say that the stakes for Juliet were higher on the whole coloring on the couch thing.  She's lucky she got out of that one alive.

Here is a brief list of the constants you'll want to keep in your repertoire.  They are versatile and applicable to all of the children, all of the time.

1. Eat it.
2. Don't.
3. Go to bed.

I'm trying to think of another one.  I honestly feel like this is all you need.  Like, you're obviously gonna flesh these out a bit, use a little flair and descriptive adjectives here and there but this covers your bases.

It's been a decade, guys.  Mama's tired.  

The good thing is you are also way more laid back with the last kid than you were with the first kid.  And if you've always been the super laid back Mom who never stressed about anything and was always so happy with the children?  You are the magical unicorn mother that dreams are made of.  But for the rest of us?  Know that years of parenting allow you to be more relaxed with your youngest child and realize not everything can be that major.  Now that I'm a decade smarter and fully stocked up on IDGAFs, it's a little easier.  

Today was Dress Like Your Favorite Story Book Character in Juliet's class. I'm not crafty by any stretch of the imagination and we're not much for dress-up stuff either.  That's just more clothes I have to fold.  Last year, Juliet went to Favorite Story Book Character day as Pinkalicious.  Which was not difficult as I just grabbed all of her pink clothing and put her hair is some ridiculous pigtails.  Of course Jules looked adorable.  Much better than the real Pinakalicious, who can we all agree is not that cute?

So this year we were stumped.  And, not surprisingly, I was unprepared.  Jules asked why she couldn't just be Pinkalicious again?  The child is brilliant.  On with the pink, up with the hair, away you go.  AND I found an adorable pink face mask to match her outfit.  I gave myself a gold star!  It's a decade later and I'm stiiiiillll crushing this parenthood game.  

At pick up, I asked how everyone liked her Pinkalicious outfit.  She looked at me and said, "It wasn't dress like your favorite story book today, Mom.  That's next week."

Yep.  Gold star.